A Doomsday Doubter

By Dobie Maxwell –

Well, just as I suspected the world didn’t come to an end on December 21st, 2012. There were a lot of people who thought it might, but I was never one of them. I’ve seen doomsday dates come and go for years, but for some reason they acquire legs and span the globe like a verbal flu bug.

Didn’t everyone learn their lesson from Y2K? That was supposed to be a worldwide disaster of epic proportions, but nothing happened other than a few slick talking sales sharks hauled in some quick scratch selling backup generators to gullible citizens who had built underground shelters in their back yards preparing for the end of the world.

Just what we’d need – a race of human gophers. I for one wouldn’t want to live through a major doomsday holocaust. Who wants to be holed up in an underground trailer park – with your family no less – subsisting on a steady diet of nothing but ramen noodles, Ritz crackers, and cans of pork and beans? If there were Ding Dongs, they’d be gone first.

And you thought having to tolerate that tribe for the holidays was torture. I think I’d last maybe three or four days in that situation before venturing out into the scorched Earth looking to breathe in as much pure radiation into my lungs so as to end it all as quickly as possible. Enough is enough.

Fortunately, none of us will have to make that decision any time soon. Those wacky Mayans of centuries past were wrong on this one, but why did anyone put any faith in them anyway. What’s their qualification to be predictors of the end of the world anyway? No offense, but does anyone actually know any Mayans personally? Are there any Mayan restaurants around? If they couldn’t hang around to go through the end of the world with the rest of us, then I refuse to listen to them.

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