Pyramid Pleasure

By: Jonathan Jones 06/18/2012

Everyone and their third cousin’s best friend’s parole officer seems to have a ‘bucket list’ these days. I can’t speak for anyone else, but times are a little tight in my world. I’d consider it a major victory if I could find a way come up with an actual bucket at this point. Everything after that is a bonus.

I’m a pretty simple cat by nature, and it usually doesn’t take all that much to thoroughly please me nine times out of ten. I’ve been one to go with the flow most of my life, and it has served me well. If anything, I find myself attracted to the strange, oddball and weird. If it’s unusual, I’m in.

That being said, there has been something completely unique I have wanted to see up close and in person for literally decades, and this past week I finally got my chance to do it. It’s the famous Gold Pyramid House in Wadsworth, IL and it was totally worth the wait. Wow, what a fun place!

I don’t even remember the first time I was turned on to that place, but I remember being driven past it by someone who knew I would be very interested and wanting to stop right then and there to take an impromptu tour. If there’s a more eye catching structure in America, I haven’t seen it.

What really blew me away was learning that it’s someone’s actual home. I assumed it was just an empty shell someone built as a prop or a joke, but I was wrong. Jim and Linda Onan own the place, and it was built in 1977. It is six stories tall and 17,000 square feet. Now THAT'S a house!

This is certainly not the kind of place one goes to Sears to get it sided or calls 588-2300 for a carpet fitting. Everything in this structure must have had to have been custom made in some way, shape or form. And I can't imagine how one would insure it. Who would write the policy, Mutual Of Cairo? Sphinx Farm? Allsand?

I have nothing but respect for Jim and Linda Onan for putting this entire plan together. It must have taken years of constant pushing to get it all exactly how they wanted it. I remember how my grandfather used to get quizzical looks from the neighbors when he’d carve some shapes into the hedges in his front yard. I can only imagine what the Onans had to endure. My hat is off to them.

I was given the grand tour by Rocko Onan, and it was well worth my decades long wait. He’s a very engaging fellow, and knows his subject matter extremely well. There are fascinating pieces of visually stunning historical artifacts everywhere, and I was mesmerized from start to finish.

I couldn’t imagine growing up in a house like that. I remember getting yelled at for getting too close to the knick knack shelf as a kid, and that was cheap crap with little to no value much less historical significance. I bet I’d still be grounded if I’d grown up near the Onans.

If you’re anywhere near Wadsworth anytime soon, please do yourself a favor and visit this one of a kind treasure for yourself. Not only is there the pyramid, there’s also an amazing exact replica of the tomb of King Tut to enjoy. The website is www.goldpyramid.com and I hope I can return soon. Until then, I’m trying to figure out a way to create a pyramid shaped double wide trailer. One step at a time. I'm still working on finding a bucket.